When The Night Ends
by MoonLightInTheShadow
Summary: The war had left him and with no will to live. But maybe not everything is lost for Harry. Will it be enough for him to stay here? Two-shot. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello there!

This is my first fanfiction in English, and the only one I have completed so far. English is not my first language so I apologize if there is any mistakes. I tried to do my best, and I would be grateful for any comments on what I can fix so it's better. This is the first part of a two-shot, so if people seem to like it, I'll post the second part in a few weeks.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I'm not JK Rowling and I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, things would have been very different and it wouldn't have ended the way it did. Alas, it's not like that and we can only be grateful for the amazing world that Rowling gave to us.

I hope you enjoy this reading!

It's like a green sea. The wind made the grass resemble the waves of an ocean, and the lake increased the effect even more. The darkness of the night combined with the soft light of the stars helped to add to the illusion, creating ripples on the waves. The beauty of it made him want to jump even more, to the disappear on the bottom of the seemingly water. Just let everything go and fly through the air with the wind surrounding him like nothing else mattered in the world. It was already pushing him, off the edge and closer to the ground, and for a second he considered letting go of the railing so gravity could take over. He just had to loosen up his grip on it. But then the wind calmed down and the moment passed, leaving him empty inside.

That was the way he had been feeling lately, ever since he came back all he knew was the emptiness that went with him everywhere. It was as if he had really died that day and came back to a body that was already dead. The only time he ever felt alive now was when he dreamed of falling, getting so close to death he could almost touch it. But even then, sometimes it wasn't enough, just like tonight. Harry sighed, looking wistfully to the ground under him before shaking his head and climbing over the railing and to the questionable safety of the Astronomy Tower only to freeze in fright. He could only see the sharp grey eyes before the person turned around and fled when he realized that he had been caught, but it was more than enough.

Harry was shaking, and it wasn't because of the cold night. No, it was from the fear and anger of getting caught, after all the precautions that he had taken so that his friends never knew what he did, it was all blown away because he had let himself get caught by _him._ He was sure by tomorrow all Hogwarts would know, crowding him with their incessant question. He could see the Prophet, all the money they would make. Their savior, The-Man-Who-Won, to commit suicide. An his friends, the disappointed stares and the hurt and worry they would feel. The feelings were threatening to overcome him, and it was then he realized he was _feeling_ something. It was this what made him calm down, and think about what he could do in order to avoid it. Except that the sun was coming up and his panic attack had made him lose the only opportunity he had to save himself.

Harry growled, frustration filling him and then he just dropped his shoulder in resignation. It was already too late, and really the only option now was to hide until everybody had forgotten about him. It was with this thought that he finally came out of the tower heading down to the kitchens, avoiding the odd morning person and professors that were headed to the Great Hall. It was not really that hard, as it was what he had been doing all year so far. As usual, his plate was already waiting for him in the little table in the corner that the elves had placed for him. The little creatures greeted him cheerfully and went back to working making everything ready for breakfast. He chewed slowly in his toast, already feeling the emptiness taking over his body and leaving him only with the memory of emotions. Still, he could sense that something was different, even if he could not quite figure it out what. All the rest of the day was the same, being like an outsider and letting his body go through the motions as if he had no control over it. He did notice that no one was paying more attention to him than usual, which left him a little confused. Ron and Hermione were trying once more to get him into a conversation but his mind was too troubled for him to humor them.

Turning around the corner in the way of his next class, he almost ran over Malfoy. Instead, the blonde sneered down at him, as if he found him pathetic. And he probably did look like that, especially when those cold grey eyes pierced him.

"Watch where you are going, Potter" Malfoy drawled "We wouldn't want you to get hurt would be."

Harry had to fight with himself to not let his distress show at those words, dreading that anyone would understand their meaning, but he wasn't sure he was succeeding in it. Indeed, he could see his pale reflection on one of the armours and the sight of him almost shaking in fear and cowering made anger shoot through him. Ron was already drawing out his wand and Hermione looked ready to let out one of his diatribes, but Harry was faster than any of them, suddenly straightening up and looking down at Malfoy.

"Why, Malfoy, that sounds like a threat to me. Are you implying that _you_ could take me down? You really must think high of yourself".

Time seemed to stop, and Harry couldn't tell who was more surprised, him from actually standing up, his friends who hadn't been able to draw a reaction out of him or Malfoy who hadn't expected him to fight back. Malfoy smirked a little as if he was amused at the comeback, but there seemed to be a glint of respect in his eyes as he gave a little nod admitting the defeat. No matter his behavior these past months, the magical world still held him in high regard and no one could deny that he was very powerful even if he did not show it. It would be foolish of Malfoy to attack him, and he would be facing several charges, especially taking into account that his family didn't have a lot of support currently. Malfoy didn't say any other word as he walked past them, making sure to push Harry with his shoulder at the last second and disappearing before they could do anything. All the confidence Harry had seemed to gather went way with Malfoy, leaving him back to his hunched form and the emptiness that never went away.

After that it became a common occurrence, the daily verbal fights that could make him react in a way he had almost forgotten. It also made him more aware of his surroundings, instead of going through his day as if it wasn't real. Ron and Hermione had tried to question him but he hadn't know how to answer them so they just enjoyed the movements on which he was aware enough to hold a conversation. Most of the time though he was still unresponsive, and still dreaming of falling. He went back after some days to the Astronomy Tower, after it had became clear that Malfoy hadn't told anyone about that night. That was something he didn't understand, but Malfoy always did what you would least expect. Ever since the war ended, he had changed. Oh, he was still the same pompous prat he was before, but he wasn't as harsh now nor did he seem so prejudiced. War could really change people, he guessed. No matter what, he still treated him and his friend with the same contempt than before, even if he didn't seem to hold any hate behind his words.

The wind was ruffling his hair, making it even more messy if that was possible. He itched to go over the railing and feel it more freely, getting so close to falling he could almost sense it, but something was making him stop. He clenched his hands over the metal, his eyes fixed on the ground under the Tower.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" Harry was caught off guard by the loudness of his voice, but didn't let it show.

"It depends, do you intend to spend that long in here?"

Harry turned around to face the owner of the voice. Malfoy was leaning against one of the walls, looking at his nails like he didn't care about the answer. Harry was not fooled, he had sense the blonde following him this time. He didn't bother answering and just went back to looking at the night, both of them saying nothing to the other and just standing there in silence. Harry finally decided that it was time to leave, and Malfoy didn't even twitch when he glared at him.

This routine continued for a few days, during the day the mandatory verbal sparring, paying attention to his friend for at least some minutes and then going to the Astronomy Tower where Malfoy was always waiting. They usually didn't talk, but sometimes they did reflect on the war and the past. Harry found it strangely refreshing, it was as if everybody else was afraid to even mention those who had passed away, but Malfoy had no reservations about that. Harry could just be himself around him, as weird as it sounded. He didn't have to try to be who he wasn't with him, and Malfoy never questioned why his behavior was so erratic. He also never mentioned his suicide attempts, sensing that it was something he did not want to talk about. Some days were especially bad, where he was completely unresponsive, leaving it up to Hermione and Ron to make sure he wasn't starving himself, and to Malfoy that he didn't jump. But in the end, Malfoy presence in his life became a common occurrence, making him stay aware more than he usually was and even sometimes having brief moments were Malfoy could draw a smile out of him.

That's why when he didn't show up one night, he was surprised by how much it affected him. The following days, Malfoy still wasn't there, and he couldn't find him in the Marauders Map. Feeling like a fool and hurt, he went into a depression and closed off, just like he had been before. Only this time instead of emptiness he could feel all his emotions bottled up but compressed in the back of his mind and they leaked through the barriers he had built up somehow. It only got worse one evening after a fight with Ron, where he ended up reaching his limit and leaving the common room. Not even thinking about it, he ended up back at the Astronomy Tower and over the railing, only a step away from jump. His mind went calm at last and he could enjoy the freedom of the air around him once again. He had forgotten how liberating it could feel, the exhilaration of being so close to the edge you can almost taste it. And for once, he really considered doing it. His friends could go on without him, they had been doing fine so far and he was just a burden on them. Even Ron had said so just a few moments ago, it wouldn't make a difference if he wasn't ther. And Malfoy obviously didn't want him, he was sure he had run away from him and all his problems. Who would want him anyways? His uncle had been right all along, he was just an unlovable freak. The ground was calling to him, and just as a new wave of wind pushed against him, he loosened his grip on the railing and jumped.

A/N That all for now! How will it end?


	2. Chapter 2

He was floating for a moment, everything seemed to stop for a moment before gravity took over pulling him down and making his body felt alive and full of adrenaline. But before he could go far he felt something grabbing him around his middle and bringing him back up, to aromas that were waiting to close around him and keep him away from the edge. Having his dream taking away from him after being so close, he turned to desperate anger to get free, fighting over the person and kicking and trashing and throwing punches blindly, just so he could get away.

But the other just kept on holding tighter to him, grunting when he got hit but never once loosening his grip on him. Suddenly Harry just stopped fighting and instead broke out in tears, choking on them and just feeling weary and tired of everything. All the feelings he had been suppressing, all the deaths he had not allowed himself to grieve, all the lost opportunities and all the memories he had tried to forget came out at once, threatening to take over him and break him apart.

He was crying silently now, and the other boy had loosened his arm, just holding him and running his finger through his hair. Harry clung to him, afraid to let go and just let himself _feel._ All his emotions were running free and left him feeling lighter, as if a weight over his shoulders had been lifted. He was finally feeling alive, not just the shadow of it. It was real this time, the emptiness completely gone, and he could feel him relaxing.

He slowly became aware of the body that was holding him, the firmness of the arms around him and the calming touch of the fingers in his hair. Harry opened up his fist, letting go of the fabric and flattening out the wrinkles he had made on the shirt. His head was laying on the chest of the other, raising along his breaths and calming him further. Almost without thinking he started drawing circles on the shirt, smiling slightly when he felt the other shiver and the fingers in his hair stop for a moment before continuing their movement.

They stayed like that for a few moments, just enjoying each other's company. But then, the other sighed, long fingers coming down to his check in a soft caress that left Harry wanting more and then lifting his chin up. Harry kept his eyes down, not wanting the confront him, knowing he had acted impulsively and without thinking. He knew the other wanted answers, and he just felt stupid now by the way he had acted.

"Potter. Look at me." He tried to move his head, but he wasn't letting him to do it. "Please, Harry."

It was the plead accompanied of his name that made him look. The grey eyes that were usually cold and indifferent were full of emotion. He could read worry, fear, frustration, anger and something he could not quite name. Concern, care? The blonde had never been so open to him before, and he realized amused that Malfoy kept surprising him. But the amusement died quickly in the face of the emotions Malfoy was displaying, being obviously distressed. He could read the question easily enough in his eyes, wanting to know the reason.

"You were gone." And really, that was the real reason. "You were gone and I just couldn't face it, and I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to get it all over, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He kept apologizing, tears once again in his eyes, and Malfoy whispered calming words, rocking him didn't take so long for him to calm down again, and Malfoy explained to him that his father had passed down the Lordship to him and so he had to go away to get all thing in orders and he hadn't meant to make feel the other like he was not wanted. He went on saying that he had come back that evening and went looking for him to explain it all, but had not found him and when he asked his friends they told him about how he was back to being unresponsive and that the last time they had seen him he looked as if he was determined, but they didn't know where he went even when they tried to follow him. And Harry was feeling even worse, because he had acted once again without thinking, not having all the facts and no matter how many times Malfoy denied it he knew it was his fault. That he had made all the people who loved him worry, and if he had jumped earlier or if Malfoy wasn't there on time, he would have made them suffer uselessly.

He would cry again, but he had no tears left and could only stare at his hands blankly, hating himself for never doing the right thing. Malfoy garbed his chin once more and made him look at him to the eyes.

"Listen to me. It's not your fault. We know you suffered the most, and still have to heal. No one blames you for taking your time, you deserve it. If anything, is our fault for not making sure you were safe, and that we didn't show you that you are loved. I know you think no one loves you, but you are wrong. I don't care if your uncle said otherwise, he was a despicable man who doesn't know anything. The wizarding world loves you. The Weasley's love you. Your friends love you" Malfoy hesitated for a moment and the continued on. "I love you. Don't let them win Harry. You're not a freak. You are an amazing person and someone who deserves the best".

Harry could only stare, not knowing what to say. He wanted to believe Malfoy, no, Draco's words, and he almost could. But the doubt kept nagging at him, years of being told how freaks could not be loved ingrained into him. And then he suddenly realized, Draco had said that he _loved_ him. How had he not seen that before? He didn't know what to do, he didn't even know what his preferences were. He had never wondered whether he liked boys or girls, too occupied during the war and too depressed after it. Draco smiled sadly, as if he could read his confusion, and just hugged him murmuring it was okay. Harry could hear all the other meanings behind it, it was okay if he was confused, it was okay if he didn't know, it was okay if he didn't love him back.

They fell silent once more, still holding each other and watching as the night came to an end and the sun rose up, marking their time together to an end. They both got up, Draco holding his hand for a few seconds before stepping back and whispering a see you later to him. Harry looked outside once more but didn't felt the need to get near the edge, so he just turned around and left.

"Good morning."

The sound of a book dropping to the floor and Ron choking on food almost made him laugh, if it wasn't for the implications they drew. Had he really been so far way that a simple fact as greeting them was a shocking event? Harry felt sadness and anger at himself. God, he had really been a jerk, hadn't he?

"Yes, you have." Ron said. Harry blinked, he must have said that out loud. But Ron didn't look mad, and Hermione was smiling so wide it looked comical.

"I'm sorry." Those seemed to be the only words he kept saying lately.

"Don't be. We are just happy to have you back." Hermione stated, before frowning slightly "You are, aren't you? You are not going to disappear on us again?"

"I'll try not to." That seemed to be the right answer, as they just smiled and fillies him in about what had been happening lately. He tried to take it all in, but he was sure he had missed some of the things. Oh well, he could ask them again later, they would be happy to tell him again.

Things went back to normal, or as normal as it could be with him. He started to pay attention in class, interacted with his friends and other people regularly and started to get his grades up. Surprisingly, it seemed he had not been so far away as to be completely lost about what they were learning. Still, his work hadn't been so good and now that he was making an effort it showed. His conversations with Draco continued, both of them opening up more than before and telling each other everything. Oh, they both kept secrets, but anything besides that was completely shared between them. They still meet up in the Tower sometimes, but started to go to other places again, mostly out of the way of people. Harry also started to pay attention to the way Draco's eyes twinkled when he was excited, or how his lips could make the most perfect smile he had seen or how his face could glow under the moonlight. He kept blushing when he said something complimenting him, and getting butterflies when he dedicated one of his rare smiles to him. Draco also told him about his friends, not Crabbe and Goyle, but Theo, Daphne and Blaise. Their way to have fun was obviously Slytherin, but in the end they reminded him of his own friends. Harry also told him more about Ron and Hermione, all about the little things Draco didn't know that made him realize they might be not so different.

One day, some weeks after that day, Ron and Hermione felt it was safe to ask him what had made him come back. They were by the lake, having completed all their homework and just enjoying the time together. Harry was reading a book, or trying to, as his mind kept going back to Draco and him. In fact, Hermione had to call him several times before he finally noticed her attempts at getting his attention, and asking what she had obviously wanted to know for so long. Harry stared at her, at a loss of words.

"Harry?" Great, now she was worried.

"I don't know."

"Don't give us that crap." Ron said. "We're your friends, aren't we?"

"It's the truth." Harry replied annoyed. "I have no idea why then, is something that I'm still trying to figure out. I have some theories, but it's all very confusing."

"Maybe we can help." Hermione offered, "If you tell us what you know, we might be able to see something you didn't."

Harry considered it, his eyes wandering around the grounds and the other students that were also relaxing outside. He caught sight of the blonde watching him intently, giving the slightest of nods towards Ron and Hermione direction before turning back. Harry stared at him, and then back to his waiting friends and realized that he had hurt his friends enough, and they just wanted to know. After all he had made it them go through, it was the least he could do. So, taking a deep breath, he started talking. It took longer than he had thought, as they kept asking questions and making sure he did not forget anything. He avoided all about his suicidal thoughts but he was sure they knew why he had been at the Astronomy Tower. They also didn't seem surprised at all when he mentioned Draco, nor did they say anything against him, even when he admitted Draco had said he loved him. After he had explained all the best he could, Ron and Hermione looked at each other as if they knew something he didn't. Hermione confirmed it by saying that she was sure he would figure everything out soon. But it was Ron comment what really confused him:

"Malfoy might be the biggest prat in the world, but as long as he makes you happy and keeps you here, I don't care what you guys do together. Just, please, spare me of any details."

It was a specially clam night, the wind reduced to a soothing breeze that made him smile lightly. He still thought the ground looked like a green sea, but for once this didn't make him want to jump. If anything, he was amazed by its beauty and how the night could change the view so much that it looked otherworldly. The soft light of the moon and the stars made everything glow, and he wouldn't have been surprised if all kind of magical creatures gathered down there, when no humans could bother them. Assuming they would even notice, as far as he knew only a few people were like Luna, being able to see beyond what was there.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" Harry asked softly, his mind drawn back to the day when those same words had come out of his mouth. Everything was so different now. Everything had fallen silent, as if the night was waiting for an answer. It didn't have to wait long, the sound of a robe moving and the heat of a body stopping behind him, almost touching him and a warm breath against his cheeks as lips whispered the expected answer in his ear:

"It depends, do you intend that long in here?"

Harry chuckled softly, leaning against the body behind him and feeling arms wrap around him. Draco rested his chin on his shoulder, and they both stood there looking outside as if words were not needed. And honestly, they weren't. Harry thought back to his conversation with Ron and Hermione and had a feeling that they were right, and he already knew the answer as to why he had come back. Draco seemed to be on the same track of thoughts, because his next words were:

"I saw you talking with your friends today."

"I know." Harry replied, trying to act as if his heart was not beating wildly in his chest. Draco had turned his head and Harry was finding it difficult to concentrate. "They know almost everything now, and seemed to be fine with it. Hermione is just happy that I'm better and happy now and Ron kept saying that he doesn't care as long who I spend time with as he gets his friend back. I think he might talk with you sometime soon, but he didn't tell me anything."

"I see." Draco said, looking at him intently. "You still didn't tell them about your... attempt." He obviously found hard to think about it and tightened his hold in him as if afraid he was going to try again. But Harry knew that wasn't the only thing that was bothering the blonde, after all he had known about his suicidal thoughts way before they had started talking. Harry turned around in his arms, so he could look at his face, finding it a little guarded and feeling hurt and sad that Draco didn't seem to trust him. He must have let it show in his face because his expression softened and one hand came to his check, grey eyes shining brightly with love and a little sad smile.

Harry didn't know what made him do it, maybe his heart had know all along but he had been too blind to see it. He just knew that he could not stand the sight of Draco sad and hurting because of him, and before he could even think about it he had bring their lips together in a soft kiss. Draco was so still that Harry worried he had done something wrong and started to back away, but then lips pressed against him and hands held him close, not letting him get away. Harry didn't hold back then, letting go of thoughts and working on his instincts, giving as much as he got. Somehow they ended up laying on the floor, Harry on top of Draco breathing heavily and marveling the sight of him flushed and disheveled, so unlike him. Harry rested his head on his chest, listening to the beating of Draco's heart, feeling more happy that he remembered in a long time. Draco wrapped his arm around him, moving them around and conjuring a soft blanket so they were laying more comfortably on the floor. Harry relished on the moment, knowing that he had come along a great way and he was ready to move on from the war. Draco kissed him at the top of his head, and Harry knew everything would be alright and he wouldn't be alone as they both waited for the night to end.

A/N: Here is the last part of the two-shot! What do you think? I've tried to make it good, I hope I succeeded. Adios!


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